Oh na na…what’s my age?

‘Act your age’, ‘dress your age’ and ‘talk your age’, are things we hear constantly from everyone, may it be fashion magazines or school teachers. But what does it truly mean. I finally found out…..or it sorta fell on me.

I have studied in boarding schools all my life and because we had all lived under the same roof day and night for more than five years, we were all very close to each other albeit our gender and family backgrounds. Our school had only 120 kids and in my grade there were only 17 of us, so the entire school was like a giant joint family. Relationships in our school were rare not because we were conservative or because of school rules but because we were such close friends that we never considered each other romantically. My beau and I were one of the two couples in my grade.  In a lay man’s words we were kids. Whenever, new people would join the place they would be surprised by the level of immaturity in average 15-16 year olds but sooner or later they would become a part of it as well. Whenever, I thought about one of my guy friends I would find that extremely weird because I knew them too well to date them(I know it sounds ridiculous but its true), after 3 years of attending the school I finally fell in love and I still wonder how that fuckin happened.

Last year after finishing my 10^th grade I moved to a city for 11^th grade. I was in complete shock because everything was so damn different! Everyone was dating everyone and I never knew the difference between ‘friends’, ‘just friends’, ‘dating’, and ‘committed’. The entire façade confused me to death. Obviously, I was termed the over-grown baby, kid, alien and what-not.  All I knew about relationships was that someone confesses and then you become a couple and you only do so after you get to know the other person very well.  You can understand my confusion when I saw people hopping from one relationship to the other like they were playing a goddamn video game.

Apart from the relationship statuses of people what shocked me was the way everyone acted. People my age tried to act very refined and sophisticated. Not only this, kids who were substantially younger than I am were acting my age. What I don’t get is that why do these kids want to act like adults when you have your entire adult life to do it? People expect you to act like kids now just like they will expect you to act like an adult later on, if we don’t use our childhood to act like children when the hell will we do it?

Growing up is a massive pain in the ass. Life is ruined after you’re 13 especially if you’re an Indian. 10^th grade we have boards but they’re not half as bad as the ones in 12^th grade. Despite, what Indian parents tell their kids, life doesn’t become heaven once you’ve done well in 12^th boards.  We have to go to a college and right after college we have to get a job and start working in this circus called life. Honestly, growing up is shit unless you’re rich and famous.

I am one of the most childish persons I’ve ever come across. I’m 17 and I act 10, no kidding. I do it not because I have to but because I want to. The only time I’m a little mature is when I write. When I say the terms “childish behavior” it doesn’t mean literally acting like a child. It means not leaving behind child like tendencies such as being honest, trusting people, forgiving easily, not holding a grudge, loving unconditionally, adapting to every circumstance with a smile,  and most of all not giving a damn about what anyone says.  This is what being a child means to me. There are times that these things aren’t that easy to do, and that’s what adulthood is all about isn’t it? I wouldn’t know.

-TheGirlWithaBlackScar